Colour Blind

“No one is born hating another person because of  the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion … if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love”. ~ Nelson Mandela ~

Following the death of Nelson Mandela, I came across this quote and it struck a chord with me this one small example from a wealth of knowledge I have in this area ~ I thought I might share with you…

I never think about people in terms of race, colour or creed ~ it seems to me that when you do this ~ others opinions can cloud your own and your at risk of fading into the crowd of popular opinion…
As a child I remember joining a group of children chanting ‘wog lover’ to a couple ~ a white women and an Asian man ~ I’m not quite sure why I did it now ~ at the time I suppose it was a part of wanting to be excepted as ‘part of a group’ and it seemed like fun.
Anyway my dad found out and I was carpeted ~ he sat me down and lectured me about…Hurting others feelings (how would I like it) he encouraged me to think for myself and strongly impressed how I should Not follow others behaviour and why.  He explained that ignorance was born through lack of knowledge and idle gossips with lack of knowledge, unwilling or unable to find the truth in a rumour would make their own minds up through their limited perceptions ~ then  parrot fashion it all over the place ~ creating the he said / she said  community with narrow perceptions of reality.
He ended his onslaught by asking me what I thought the word ‘wog’ meant?  I was truthful and said I didn’t know ~ he then told me it was because the mans skin colour was different to ours and people had perceptions from our history books about dark skinned people being savages… so this built a fear of the unknown and the ignorance of the people was used to great effect ~ because generally people especially those who were ‘untraveled’ were suspicious of what they didn’t understand and what they don’t understand they fear…
He then added “but you know its funny ~ because it actually stands for Western Oriental Gentleman” smiling he said “its complimentary”…

Many years later I feel head over heals in love with a boy ~ who had Michael Jackson eyes and they were full of laughter amusement and love ~ word soon got around that I was seeing a black boy ~ I had a girl at school asked me “is he light or dark”? and truthfully I couldn’t answer her ~ I hadn’t noticed!
There are a lot of misconceptions on both sides of the racial fence here are just a couple ~ I’ll start with the one that hurts men’s ego’s and is a totally false claim from where ever it originated from ~ I’ll be speaking from the voice of experience here…

  • There isn’t any difference in the size of your marital parts!  Believe me ~ I don’t know where this idea came from ~ but it empowered black-men and made them smile ~ they wouldn’t contest the idea ~ why would they?  And the notion threatened their white counterparts ego’s ~ so contentious to say the least…and its a Myth!…
  • “They’re all violent and walk around with a chip on their shoulders” ~ Not true…
    I’d like to show how the Love, Courage and Immense spirit of one very special person who not only learned to forgive ~ but managed to rise above the ugly crime that almost took his life ~ yet continued bringing love and happiness to all who knew him ~ he refused to let others actions define him…
    JJ ~ was a man who had befriended the family years ago ~ I’d often wondered about the scars all over his face and neck but had been to polite to ask ~ but he was such a nice man ~ it just didn’t make sense to me so one day I plucked up the courage and asked him about it ~ This is his shocking story.

    He’d been out with a friend at a town centre nightclub  where he’d met a girl ~ they immediately took to each other and ended up dancing the night away ~ they pledged to meet each other every week at the same place and time and they did ~ he told me that he didn’t pay any attention to anyone’s reaction at their ‘togetherness’  and had no idea of the impending threat to his life.
    Then one evening as the two left the nightclub and kissed goodnight promising to meet at the same time and same place the following week  a group of angry men began to hurl abuse at him calling him unspeakable names while telling him where to go ~ he was told in no uncertain terms to stay away from ‘white girls’ especially the one he’d been seen with…I don’t believe he realized just how much danger he was in when he refused their demands (he loved the girl) ~ he was grabbed and dragged behind the nightclub ~ where he was savagely attacked then left to bleed to death.
    When he came too in the hospital the staff were overjoyed ~ they thought he might die from his injuries ~ imagine the horror of having to look at your face in the mirror for the first time having been told you’d got at least 300 stitches in it…JJ sent a message to his girl  explaining that in spite of how much he loved her he couldn’t see her anymore that it wasn’t fear for his own safety that concerned him ~ but imagining what might happen to her ~ just tore him up…
    He was well into his fifties when he emotionally released his first love and met someone else and found happiness ~ such was his love for her…
    This was one of the men who saved our family’s lives ~ the night my Dad tried to take his life with gas in our home…Love (and I omit ‘sex’ from the word as this is just an overplayed physical expression of  the word) will always be the road to peace ~ we’ve tried the other routes for too many centuries and are ~ in my view a little slow in realizing that hate and force will never win ~ all due to the wonderful condition we call human will…
    If anyone should read this post ~ please take it with the same spirit with which it was written with ~ Love ~

All Rights Reserved Copyright 2013  Lorna Ann Fletcher

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